Children are affected by divorce everyday, but how are they? There are positive and negative sides to almost anything. Divorce in a family affects not only the parents, but also the kids who look up to their parents as role models. Divorce affects children and their future relationships more negatively than positively.
Divorce is a very intricate topic, and it is much deeper than a “break-up”.Divorce is “performed” when a married couple decides that they are no longer in love and happy, and they decide to split up. According to Merriam Webster Dictionary, divorce is defined as “the legal dissolution of a marriage by a court or other competent body”. This means that it is the legal termination of a couples’ licensed marriage agreement. When divorce comes to mind, people may immediately think of the couple going about. The children suffering from the divorce of their parents face much at task as well.
They face arguments, visitation times, who to stay with, who to live with and the list of decisions between parents goes on and on. One topic that people tend to overlook however, is how the divorce of a child’s parents affects their future love life. From trust issues to a lack of commitment, children suffer from divorce psychologically without even knowing it. Divorce of the parents affects girls differently than boys.
Girls constantly want to feel loved and accepted by their partner, but they are scared of commitment. They do not want to be tossed aside by the one they love the most. When parents get a divorce, girls can face anxiety issues when it comes time for their own marriage (Marripedia.org).
Girls have doubt in their future marriages and their relationships. In girls there is a sixty percent higher divorce rate in marriages whose parents had divorced (Mom.me). This just goes to show how one gender can be affected by the pressures of divorce. Girls face more psychological issues than boys do.
Today you see girls facing these issues, but they are not even in a marriage. Earlier and earlier the affects from their parent’s divorce develop in their kid’s relationships. A father figure is one who all boys look up to. They pick up on certain traits they their fathers have. In a relationship, the men feel it is necessary to put more money into it to make sure that his partner is happy.
Studies have shown that guys lack skills due to not having an example relationship, due to the guy’s parents having a divorce. He is found to be more aggressive and violent in the relationship they develop (marripedia). The sons of divorced parents have a thirty-five percent higher chance of divorce than those who come from a family who is still together(mom.me). Guys feel the need In Will You Marriage Last?, Ted Houston is a professor at the University of Texas. He studied how partners were really related to one another.
Houston could tell the feelings that both people portrayed were either positive or negative towards each other. He stated that one in every two marriages end in a divorce and there is not one specific reason why it happens ( Patz 65). There is a loss of love towards one another and the affection is not there. Couples go into marriage thinking they know everything about one another, but in reality they do not know as much as they thought they did. Marriage rates have gone down according to Houston, but divorce rates have gone up since the 60s. One study showed that the divorce the children’s parents go through makes it more difficult for them when they reach their post-adolescent stage. A relationship is based off of many things, but trust is key. Without trust in a relationship many different challenges come up between the two people.
The children fear that one day they will be rejected by their future partner. This is not to say that a child feels unloved or as if they cannot love another to their abilities. The child may not even understand that they have trust and commitment issues, however the child still grows up to live with those struggles. Children grow up with a mind set that their relationships will not be successful due to their parents having a divorce. The confidence levels they have are down due to seeing their role models example of a non successful relationship.
Their attitude towards marrying and dating are very negative, while they are very positive when they think it will end in a divorce. Most of their negativity comes from their mother, her attitude suggests that they too one day will have a divorce (Effects of Divorce). Anxiety affects millions every year.
For children, anxiety may come from their parent’s divorce. They fear that one day when they get married, they will not be happy. They think that there is not chance they will have a successful relationship or marriage. Anxiety starts to develop in the children when they are meeting their partner, but they are to scared to develop anything more. They fear that they will develop something that will never happen.