Growing up, children need to be influenced by others in order to learn and mature. They need parents to be there and support the children’s every step in development. In some families, children are able to grow up with the same biological parents and learn to have a sense of comfort, in that there will always be “mom and dad,” waiting for them when they get home. However, in the United States “forty or possibly even fifty percent of marriages will end in divorce” (Marriage101). Leaving many children with questions that single parents sometimes just cannot answer.
Even though most children from broken household do well in life, there still are lasting effects on the child. In a household where the mother and father are the biological parents of their children, that family tends to do well over all. When there is both the mom and dad the child has more of a chance to learn and grow. As a child explores their surroundings they need the support from both parents. When exploring and experimenting, children need a male influence to reinsure themselves. The male presence also plays a big role when developing motor skills.
Unlike most mothers, fathers are usually more “rough” with their child and are physical with them. Such as tossing the child in the air or pushing them done a slide. On the other hand, mothers are the reinsurance in love and care that children need. Although playing with dad might be fun, every now and again the child will end up getting hurt. And the mother is called on to take care of the child. Quite often when children are young, they will first look for a reaction from the people around them to figure out how they should react. And when a child sees his mothers reaction he is more likely to copy her.
A mother is also there to nurture the child in self-care such as bathing and keeping objects organized. Mothers and fathers play huge roles in a child’s life. The mothers show the child how to have patients, love, and how to nurture, where as the fathers teach perseverance, knowledge, and survival. When growing up with both biological parents, the child is able to obtain both of the parents teachings. Allowing for these children to have androgyny, “A balance of traditionally masculine and feminine psychological characteristics” (Berger, 303).
On the other hand, children from broken homes do not have the luxury of learning both the mother and father traits. Usually children who grow up with one parent feel neglected, since there is only one source of income apart from child support. These children have to mature quickly and lose their “innocence” at a young age. Having more responsibilities and have to learn by themselves the other parts of life that they would have learned their parents were still together. When children see that their parents marriage fail, a devastating effect can occurs.
Seeing the part of their lives that is suppose to be perfect and all loving, their parents, come to a sudden end, the children begin to question all that they have heard and done with their parents. Children feel betrayed and separated even further when divorce occurs. Another part of a child’s development that is effected is their trust. Children begin to mistrust adult figures including teachers. Leading to more “high school dropouts than classmates whose parents stay together” (Gerein).
I believe that parents should do all that is in their power to stay together. To children parents are everything and the only thing important in their lives. The effects both the mother and father have on a child shape and mold them into adults they will eventually become. It has been shown that for a child to develop in a healthy and successful way they need their parents to be together. Keeping structure in their life and showing that they can always depend on their parents to be there together for them.