When a relationship of some length
ends, it feels like death. Except it feels worse than death because the person
you no longer love but you still love
is living—but the relationship itself is dead. There are no words to magically take away the hurt or the sadness
or the pain of this brutal ending: the ending of a love. A break-up brings much
pain, but pain is temporary because of the various ways to nurse your wounds
and carry on. Cope with your feelings and don’t fight them, talk it out with
your family or close friends, list the advantages of being single, and most importantly
don’t lose faith in another relationship.
break-up is always accompanied with an immense variety of powerful and
emotional feelings including anger, confusion, sadness, jealousy and regret.
And if you bury all your feelings inside your mind you will only prolong the
grieving process, which might lead to a complete mental breakdown down the
road. Healthy coping is when identity these intense emotions and let yourself
actually experience and let them out. The sooner you let it all out, the better
and quicker the grieving process will be. Grieving typically consists of:
depression, denial, negotiating and hopefully in the end of it all, acceptance.
Acceptance is the key element to eventually move on from an unsuccessful relationship.
In order to survive a break-up, you must swallow the bitterness of reality. Cliché
as it may sound but reality does truly bite hard, and leave a heavy mark. It’s
now all up to you to take that scar as a lesson and not as a punishment. Give
yourself plenty of time to heal, and remember that only time will heal all your
wounds. Put away the pictures and the gifts that remind you of your ex because
a part of loving is learning to let go. Resist the temptations to call or
message your ex to get together because rebound relationships are typically a
mistake. Keep yourself busy doing anything that makes you feel good about
it was highly recommended to openly talk about your feelings. You can talk
about your feelings regarding your break-up with anyone you please, preferably
someone you can trust and love. By simply talking to a family member or even a
friend, you can come to new and better understandings and even find a cure to
your pain. Holding those negative feelings within you just never is the
solution, no matter what the circumstance is. Letting these emotions not only
takes the load off your chest, you can potentially discover that what you are
going on is actually very common and many have gone through the similar
situation and survived perfectly fine, happier than ever. Don’t isolate
yourself, especially when you feel hopeless.
to your friends or loved one also keeps your mind off your past relationship
and instead boost your other relations. Make a plan to go out with your friends,
whether it is going to the movies, grabbing dinner, or even just playing games
at home together. It’ll make you realize being single isn’t bad after all and
actually gives you the opportunity to do whatever you like, whenever you like
and not dwell on the past.
addition to discussing your feelings, you should also consider listing all the advantages
of being single. Start by getting comfortable in your own private space, sit
down, and simply close your eyes and take a deep breath. Loosen your body and
soothe your mind, and grab a piece of paper and something to write with. Soon
after, just start to jot down the benefits of being single. As silly as this
may sound, writing down these pros will actually stimulate positivity to your
negatively affected mood. Just to get you started, here a few reasons to remind
you the blessings being single gives: you can have the whole bed to yourself; you
can be as messy as you want without any criticism; you will have much more
individual freedom; you will have more control over your daily routines and no
longer have to negotiating and compromise around them. But most importantly, it
is essential to understand that now you are capable to out your own needs first
and don’t have to please anyone else. This step in surviving a break-up may
seem unnecessary, but by writing out the advantages of being single gives you a
visual of the endless reasons to not feel any remorse over one unsuccessful relationship.
final and most important stage in overcoming a break-up is to come to an
understanding to not lose any faith in another relationship. The first step, is
to rid that belief that all relationships are untrustworthy, a waste of time,
and just simply a bad idea. Generalizing from one faulty relationship is the
worst way to get back up from a heart break. If you stick to this negative
belief, you will miss out on the beautiful opportunities for a relationship worth
having. Instead of generalizing all relationships, try to learn from your past
relationships. This does not mean to find ways to blame yourself for the
relationship coming to an end, instead it is an opportunity for you to
understand how to have a stronger relationship in the future again. Learning
promotes self-growth, which is the second step in keeping faith for another
chance. Once the time has come, in which you took the effort to self-reflect,
take the final initiative in surviving a break-up which is dating again.
yourself that you were able to survive on your own before you were ever in a
relationship and that you will be able to continue to thrive on your own even
after the relationship. There are things that we do not want to happen, but have to accept;
things we do not want to know, but have to learn; and a person we cannot live
without, but have to let go. Relationships are like a glass, sometimes it is
better to leave them broken than trying to hurt yourself by putting it back together.
No matter how painful a break-up is, there are always opportunities to start a
new life. Never let a break-up get you down.